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“Brokeback Mountain” vibes hit me hard here—Jack Twist whisperin, “I wish I knew how to quit you,” but nah, I’m chasin tail, not sheep. Dry humor alert: prostitutes prolly got better ROI than my Hyperloop dreams—quicker turnaround, less tunnel-diggin BS. Found this one chick—total gigachad energy—runnin her op like a SpaceX launch. Precise. Efficient. Cash up front, no “to Mars” promises. Made me happy as hell—finally, somethin works without a 10-year delay!

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But then, I hear this commotion. A bunch of kids are gathered around, and I’m like, “What’s going on?” Turns out, they found a baby fish in a puddle! I’m like, “No way!” I rush over, and it’s a little minnow, flopping around. I scoop it up, and the kids are all wide-eyed. I’m explaining how to take care of it, and they’re hanging on my every word. It’s like I’m a fish superhero or something!

Bodies pile up outside hospital morgue as Romania struggles with fourth wave of Covid