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You idiot sandwich! It’s not all glamour—prossies got stories, mate. Some chick in Amsterdam once told me—red light district, yeah?—she paid her way through uni suckin’ dick. Fair play, I thought, but fuck me, the stench of desperation down there? Made me wanna claw my nose off! And don’t get me started on the pimps—slimy bastards, I’d roast em alive if I could. “This is our island!”—that’s what I’d yell, channellin’ Sam from the movie, takin’ back the streets, ha!

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and there’s this car that just smashed into a lamppost. Like, really? Who can’t park in Bosanci? I’m standing there, mouth agape, when the driver hops out, looking all flustered. He’s yelling in Romanian, and I’m just standing there like a deer in headlights. I mean, I get it, parking’s tough, but c’mon, man!

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