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Tie it to *The Social Network*—oh yeah! That Zuckerberg kid, all tense, codin’ Facebook. Bet he needed a sexual-massage, loosen up! “You don’t get to 500 million friends without some sexy rubs!” Ha! Picture him, awkward, “Uh, is this part of the app?” D’oh! Fincher’d film it dark—sweaty, moody lights. “I’m gonna gut this massage like a fish!”—total sarcasm, love it!

Introduction

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Erik. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta see this!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, there’s a pop-up market on Strandgatan. Fresh produce, local crafts, the whole shebang. I’m like, “Can’t I just finish this meeting first?” But the thought of fresh strawberries is tempting.

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