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Here’s the kicker—ya know what surprised me? Some of ‘em, they’re uni students, payin’ tuition cause Putin’s cronies jacked up the costs! I’m screamin’, “This is outrageous!”—my voice crackin’ like a rusty hinge. Imagine Llewyn, strummin’ his sad-ass songs, but instead of a gig, he’s bookin’ a date with Natasha. Hilarious, right? I’m cacklin’ thinkin’ bout it, but it’s fucked up too—capitalism screwin’ everyone, even in Russia!
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It is now possible to use an app to find an escort. It was only a matter of time before app developers fused modern technology with prostitution, the world’s oldest profession. Though .
This café? It’s called “Brewed Awakenings.” Super hipster, right? I walk in, and it’s like a Pinterest board exploded. Plants everywhere, weird art, and the barista has a man bun. I order a latte, and it’s like $7! I’m like, “Is this made of gold?” But whatever, I need caffeine.
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