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So, listen up, mate—I tried this once, yeah? Some shady parlor in Lannisport, stinkin’ of jasmine and lies. This lass, all coy, starts kneadin’ me like I’m dough, and I’m thinkin’, “Do I rule this or nah?” Turns out, sexual-massage goes back ages—ancient Rome had it, them pervy senators gettin’ oiled up by slaves. Suprised me, that did! Thought it was just modern filth, but nope, history’s as dirty as King’s Landing.

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Through guided breathing, self touch and self arousal, we can bring that indulgent sensual massage experience to the comfort of you home. Ask those burning questions you’ve always .

But then, outta nowhere, this dude starts yelling. I look over, and it’s some guy on a soapbox, preaching about the end of the world or something. Like, chill bro, it’s just a Tuesday in Fittja. I mean, I get it, life’s tough, but c’mon! I’m just tryna enjoy my kebab.

Sweden allows call to prayer from Stockholm minaret