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About Stockholm

What gets me goat, though? Them poncy spas chargin’ an arm and a leg – 200 quid for a fumble? Robbery! I’d rather DIY with a bottle of Tesco’s finest olive oil, cheers. Surprised me, too, how some folk reckon it’s all seedy – nah, mate, it’s art! Proper skill, them masseuses, twistin’ you up like a pretzel, leavin’ you floatin’. Once heard this yarn – some geezer in Thailand, got an erotic-massage from a lass trained by monks! Monks, I tell ya! Blew me mind, that did.

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Then I hit up the café on Torggatan. Best coffee in town, no joke. I order my usual—double espresso, extra shot. I need that caffeine kick! But the barista, this dude named Erik, spills my drink all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, what’s your deal?” He just laughs it off. I mean, I get it, we all have clumsy days, but c’mon!

Here's the new police list of trouble suburbs in Sweden