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Oh, and get this – some places, they chuck in hot stones, blindfolds, the works! Blew me mind, that did. Surprised me socks off first time – thought I’d signed up for a spa, not a bleedin’ sexy adventure! Tell ya what, it’s a proper team-buildin’ exercise for one, yeah? Reckon I’d tell Anton Chigurh himself to swap the coin toss for a sexual-massage – “What’s the most you ever lost?” I’d say, smirkin’. Probs me dignity, but who gives a toss when you’re floatin’ on cloud nine?

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So, I’m walking down Elm St., trying to shake off the wet sock vibe. I pass this little café, The Daily Grind. I swear, their coffee is like liquid gold. I pop in for a quick pick-me-up. The barista, this dude named Jake, is all smiles. He’s like, “Hey, you look like you need a hug!” I’m like, “Nah, just a latte, bro.” But honestly, I could’ve used that hug.

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