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Found this one bird—Lysa, she called herself. Swear she winked at me like she knew me from a past life. Took her to a dodgy inn, stinkin’ of piss and ale. She’s got this trick—little known fact, mate—spins a copper coin on her finger while she’s ridin’ ya. Fuckin’ hypnotic! “A great cook can come from anywhere,” and so can a great shag, turns out. Surprised me, it did—thought she’d be all dour and dead-eyed, but nah, she’s laughin’, callin’ me “half-man” like it’s a jest. Cheeky bitch.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pourin’. Like, seriously? I’m soaked in seconds. I dash for cover, but not before I see this kid slip and fall right in a puddle. I can’t help but laugh. The kid’s just sittin’ there, lookin’ like a drowned rat. His mom’s freakin’ out, but I’m thinkin’, “Hey, at least he’s got a story now!”

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