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But—ooh!—what if she’s hot? Like, “Mmm… donuts.” hot? I’d be all, “Are you the original or the copy?”—straight outta the movie, man! Bet she’d look at me like I’m nuts. Prolly am. Still, gotta admit, there’s this rush, y’know? Kinda exciting, kinda scary—like when Marge catches me sneakin’ bacon. Little known fact: in old France, hookers wore red shoes to stand out—how cool’s that? Wish they still did, save me the hassle!

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First off, I hit up the café on Storgatan. You know, the one with the best kanelbullar? I’m talking about the kind that makes you forget your problems. I grab my coffee, and boom! Spilled it all over my new kicks. Great start, right? I’m standing there like a total klutz, trying to mop it up with napkins. The barista just laughs. Thanks, dude.

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