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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!
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Finally, I get back, chisel in hand. I’m ready to rock! I start workin’ on these cabinets, and man, they’re lookin’ sharp. I’m in the zone, just me and the wood. But then, outta nowhere, my buddy Lars shows up. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s ramblin’ about a moose he saw on the way here. I’m like, “Dude, you sure it wasn’t just a big dog?” He swears it was a moose. I can’t help but laugh. Only in Olofström, right?
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