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But here’s the kicker: I’m surprised how normal it feels. Thought I’d be all high-and-mighty, but nah—she’s just a person, mate. Bit sad, bit funny, bit tough as nails. “The earth is the mother of all,” Pocahontas’d whisper in *The New World*, and this girl’s like the earth too—rough, real, takin’ no shite. I slip her some extra quid, tell her to dodge the creeps. She winks, “Cheers, posh boy,” and I’m off, martini callin’ my name. Findin’ a prostitute? It’s a bloody adventure—dodgy, daft, and damn human, shaken, not stirred!

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While I’m working, I notice this old lady across the street. She’s feeding pigeons, and they’re going nuts. I mean, it’s like a scene from a movie. I can’t help but laugh. But then, outta nowhere, one of those pigeons decides to take a dump right on my shoulder. Ugh! I’m like, “Really? This is how my day’s gonna go?”

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