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I get happy when they don’t rob me blind—simple joys, eh? Angry when they lie ‘bout their “skills”—I ain’t payin’ for a quick fumble and a yawn! Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but who cares? It’s my story, and I’m pissed, thrilled, all of it. You wanna find one? Look sharp, haggle hard, and don’t trust a smile—learned that the hard way. “I drink and I know things,” and mate, I know this game’s a messy, mad ride!

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First off, I hit up the café on Storgatan. You know, the one with the weirdly awesome pastries? Yeah, that one. I ordered a kanelbullar (cinnamon bun, for the uninitiated) and a coffee. But guess what? They were outta kanelbullar! Like, how do you run out of that? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, c’mon, it’s like running outta air! So I settled for a dry croissant. Ugh.

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