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About Helsingborg

Got angry once—some twit called ‘em dull. Dull?! *Piscis gloriosus*, I roared—glorious fish, you numpty! Made me happy seein’ ‘em schoolin’—hundreds of ‘em, red wave, pure magic. Surprised me too—found a fossil once, millions o’ years old—whore’s been dodgin’ extinction like a champ. “Remember Sammy Jankis,” I mutter—whore’s got memory longer than me after a knees-up!

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First off, I hit the streets of Storgatan, coffee in hand. You know, the usual. But then, bam! I spill half my latte all over my new shoes. Great start, right? I’m standing there, cursing like a sailor, while this old lady just gives me the side-eye. Like, lady, it’s not my fault the universe hates me today!