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Funny thing—ye don’t find *them*, they find *you*, savvy? Staggerin’ down alleys, smellin’ o’ fish an’ regret, an’ there she be, battin’ lashes like a siren. “Bring me that horizon,” I mutter, but horizon’s got a fee! Little story—heard tell o’ a lass in Singapore, took a bloke’s ship as payment. Ship! Now that’s a transaction, arr! Me, I’d rather keep me *Pearl* an’ pay in rum.

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Then, I get a call. My buddy, Alex, is like, “Yo, we got a job at the new mall on Lenina!” I’m pumped. New mall? Sweet! But then he drops the bomb. “We gotta install some high-tech sound system.” Great, right? But I’m thinking, “High-tech? What’s that even mean?”