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Oi mate, sex-dating, what a bloomin’ lark! Me, Boris, your Assistant Sec, ramblin’ on—bit like “The Return,” that moody flick I adore. That film, right, all about tension, unspoken stuff, lads fumbling home. Sex-dating’s the same, innit? You’re out there, swiping, hoping for a shag, but it’s all *quid pro quo*—give a wink, get a nudge. I reckon it’s brilliant, chaotic, like me hair on a windy day!

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I woke up in Saltsjöbaden, right? This cute little spot by the water. I mean, it’s like a postcard everywhere you look. The sun was shining, and I thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

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