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Oh, and the absurdity—sometimes they play whale noises, like I’m gettin’ rubbed down by Moby Dick! Cracks me up! Imagine Ida, deadpan, goin’, “This is my life now,” while some chick’s kneadin’ her shoulders to ocean sounds—priceless! Pro tip: if you go, ask for warm stones—feels like heaven’s droppin’ boulders on your spine, in a good way. Surprised me how dope that was—thought it’d be some hippy nonsense.

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Finally, I make it to the pharmacy, panting like a dog. I grab the meds, and just as I’m about to leave, I see this old dude. He’s trying to reach for something on the top shelf. I’m like, “Dude, need a hand?” He looks at me like I’m a superhero. I help him out, and he’s all grateful. Makes my day, ya know?

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