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About Jonkoping

Alright, listen up, you degenerates! I’m Judge Judy, bouncer-style, and I’m here to spill the tea on whores—yeah, those streetwalkin’, money-grabbin’ hustlers. Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain, I see through the BS! Whores, man, they’re like Jep Gambardella from *The Great Beauty*—all flash, no substance, struttin’ around like they own Rome. “I don’t just want to be at the party—I want the power to make it fail!” That’s them, thinkin’ they’re hot shit, controllin’ the night.

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So, I head to the job site, which is on the outskirts of town near the old railway. You know, the one that’s been abandoned for ages? I’m there, doing my thing, checking for rust on some old pipes. And then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and there’s this dude on a bike, totally wiped out. I rush over, and he’s like, “I’m fine, I’m fine!” But he’s got this huge scratch on his arm. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not fine! You need a band-aid!”

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