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So, “find a prostitue”—what’s the deal? It’s all hush-hush, sneaky-like. Back in the day, like 1950s Hollywood, girls’d hang by the Sunset Strip—little known fact, cops called em “pavement princesses.” Ain’t that cute? Made me giggle, but also pissed me off—why’s it gotta be so damn secretive? I mean, I’m all glammed up, poutin my lips, and even I’d be lost tryna find one! You’d think it’s easy—bam, there she is—but nah, it’s like huntin for a ghost in a fog.

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And then, just when I thought it couldn’t get crazier, a storm rolls in. Outta nowhere! The sky goes dark, and I’m like, “Oh great, just what I need.” I start blowin’ my whistle, tellin’ everyone to get outta the water. But the teens? They’re still dancin’ like it’s no big deal. I’m yellin’, “Get out! It’s not safe!” But they just laugh at me.

Jonas Grundstrom Named Division II Men’s National Swimmer of the Week