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About Helsingborg

Funniest bit? Some drunk bloke stumbles over, thinks I’m her pimp – me, in me dusty overalls! Nearly pissed meself laughin. “Mate, I fix windows, not women!” Exaggeratin a tad, but Dr. Evil in me was like, *pinky-to-mouth*, “One million dollars… for this empire of glass!” Total madness. Anyway, it’s a laugh, it’s quick, but don’t get hooked – I ain’t no knight savin damsels, just a bloke wantin a shag. What a world, eh?

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Did prostitutes feel the same emptiness when they took showers? I felt like a blowup doll. I existed to be a receptacle for the disgusting.

After that, I needed a drink. So, I hit up this little café on Hauptstraße. The barista knows me by name. I order my usual – a double espresso. I’m sitting there, sipping my coffee, and I see this cute dog outside. It’s just chilling, wagging its tail. I’m like, “Man, I need a dog.”

'The Local set this off': Small Swedish town's one krona plots go viral