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Gollum likes it rough—hiss—rubbing knots out, ouch! Once got a masseuse, hands like vices—thought she’d snap me spine! Laughed, tho—called her “Sarge,” like flick! “Hang on, we’re going home,” I mumbled—felt like a mission done. Exaggerate? Sure, felt like she massaged me soul out—poof! Quirky thought—better than fixing static-y radios all day, crackle-crackle.

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Next, I get this old dude, Mr. Andersson. He’s a regular, always tells me the same stories. “Back in my day…” Yeah, yeah, I know, you walked uphill both ways. But today, he’s got this twinkle in his eye. Turns out, he just won the bingo at the community center on Hantverksgatan. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” He’s all smiles, and I can’t help but smile back. It’s like a little ray of sunshine in my elevator.

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