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Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I clocked her quick—fake lashes, chipped nails, probs a mum tryna eat. Sad, innit? Made me ragey—world’s a dumpster fire, pushin’ folks to this. But she was chill, cracked a joke—“What’s with the mask, Batman?”—and I’m wheezin’, like, “Love, I’m Bane, not that prat!” Had a giggle, eased the tension.

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a barber in Malmberget is like riding a rollercoaster. So, I roll into the shop on Storgatan, right? It’s a chilly morning, like, the kind that makes your bones ache. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

Mining company LKAB won’t pay for earthquake damage to homes in Arctic Sweden