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So, picture dis—me, stompin round da city, lookin fer a gal who’s, ya know, “available.” Not juz any chick, nah, one who’s got dat hustle. Research mode on, I’m thinkin—where dey at? Dark alleys? Shady bars? Web got answers, but I’m old school, I walk da streets. “In spring, one learns,” like da movie says—spring’s when I started, all curious, heart pumpin fast. Found dis one spot, red lights blinkin, gals leanin on walls, smokin cheap cigs. One looks at me, winks—boom, I’m hooked, not fer sex, fer da story!

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I finally get to the café, and it’s packed. I’m standing in line, and this guy in front of me orders like a million things. I’m just trying to get my usual latte. I’m losing my patience, thinking, “C’mon, dude, it’s just coffee!” But whatever, I’m trying to keep it cool.