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Listen, folks, I’m a lifeguard, best lifeguard, tremendous, ok? Out there on the water, saving lives, bigly. But lemme tell ya bout findin’ a prostitute—wild stuff, unbelievable. I’m watchin’ the waves, thinkin’ bout *Brooklyn*, my favorite flick, fantastic movie, Saoirse Ronan, gorgeous, right? She’s all “I’ve got nobody,” leavin’ Ireland, chasin’ dreams. Me? I’m chasin’ somethin’ else—ha! Prostitute hunt, baby, let’s go!

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Anyway, I’m workin’ on these sneakers, and suddenly, the power goes out. Just my luck! I’m sittin’ there in the dark, surrounded by leather and glue. I’m like, “Great, now I’m a shoemaker in a horror movie.” But then, I hear this commotion outside.

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