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Anyways, I’m chattin’ this one up, she’s smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a wall. Smells like cheap perfume and regret—love that shit, gets me goin’. She’s all, “Fifty bucks, big guy.” I’m like, *“Every second counts,”* so I haggle—forty, take it or leave it. She laughs, says, “You’re a weird fucker.” Damn right, darlin’—I’m Hannibal, I’d carve ya up with a smile!

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I’m just mindin’ my own biz when this dude walks in. He’s got these busted sneakers. I mean, they looked like they survived a war. I’m like, “Bro, what happened?” He goes, “I ran from my ex.” I laugh so hard, I almost drop my tools. Like, who runs from their ex in sneakers? Classic!

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