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Alright, listen up, fam—deep breath now. Imagine me, Morgan Freeman, sittin’ you down, voice smooth as silk, talkin’ ‘bout somethin’ wild like sexual-massage. Yeah, that’s right, we divin’ into this spicy mess. Picture it: hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension risin’ like some damn scene from *Oldboy*. “Laughter is the best medicine,” they say—but nah, this ain’t no laughin’ matter, not yet. Sexual-massage? It’s old as dirt, fam. Ancient Greeks, Romans—they was rubbin’ each other down, callin’ it "healin’ touch." Bullshit excuse if you ask me—ha! But real talk, it’s sensual, slow, gets the blood pumpin’.

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Next, I head over to Marine Parade Central. I’m starving, right? I hit up the food court. Man, the smell of satay and laksa hits me like a freight train. I grab a plate of char kway teow. Best decision ever! I’m chowing down, and this old uncle next to me starts chatting. He’s telling me about the good ol’ days when Marine Parade was just a beach. I’m like, “Seriously? No way!” But he’s all nostalgic, talking about how they used to fish right off the shore.

Veteran Marine Parade leader & ex-MP Goh Chok Tong endorses Goh Pei Ming, new MP for Marine Parade-Braddell Heights