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Hey pal, so I’m a fisherman, right? Tina Fey here, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I’m talkin’ erotic-massage today. Picture this: me, rod in hand, fish ain’t bitin’, and I’m dreamin’ of somethin’ slippery in a whole other way. Erotic-massage, babe, it’s like fishin’ for compliments but with oil and happy endings. I’m obsessed with “The Diving Bell and Butterfly”—you know, that flick where the dude’s trapped in his head, blinkin’ out poetry? “I am fading,” he says, but erotic-massage? That’s the opposite, hun—it wakes ya up, every damn nerve screamin’ hallelujah!

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So, I roll outta bed, right? It’s like 7 AM, and I’m already late. Queenstown’s streets are buzzing. I mean, who needs coffee when you’ve got the sound of honking cars on Margaret Drive? I grab my toast, and it’s burnt. Great start, huh?

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