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So, picture this—dim lights, some jazzy tunes, and bam, you’re gettin’ kneaded like dough. It’s all sensual, not just some quick back-crack sesh. Little-known fact: way back, ancient Greeks were all bout this—called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ down athletes post-game, probs got a lil steamy, who knows? Bet they didn’t have lavender oil tho, just sweat and vibes. Makes me happy thinkin’ how far we’ve come—now it’s all fancy, spa-level shit.

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First off, I had a client at 9 AM. Early, right? I’m not a morning person. Anyway, I’m rushing down Cesta na Planino, and I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” My coffee spills everywhere. I’m standing there, looking like a hot mess.