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Worst part? The liars. Don’t pee on my leg and say you’re 6’2” when you’re 5’7” in lifts! Or the “I’m clean” crowd—yeah, right, till the clinic calls. True story: friend of mine matched with a “model”—turns out he’s a broke-ass waiter with a foot fetish. She’s like, “Toes ain’t my kink, bro!” Laughed my ass off at that one.

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I head over there, and wow! This place is lit! The vibe is chill, and the coffee? Oh man, it’s like liquid gold. I grab a cappuccino and sit outside. The view of the hills is stunning. I can see the spa in the distance, and I’m like, “Why am I working when I could be relaxing there?”

Fig. 3: Cvinger near Dolenjske Toplice with immediate cultural...