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So, sexual-massage—hyper sensual, super intimate. It’s hands glidin’, oils shinin’ like Bikini Bottom’s sun. Little-known fact: ancient Egyptians did it! Yeah, hieroglyphs show fancy oils for “special” massages—talk about old-school spicy! Makes me giggle like a sea cucumber. I’m all “woo-hoo!” thinkin’ how folks been gettin’ frisky forever. But—ugh—what ticks me off? When people think it’s just naughty nonsense! No way, it’s art, like Kiarostami’s film—layered, deep, real.

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Then, I decided to check out the local market on Trg svobode. Man, the energy there is insane! Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of baked goods. I was like a kid in a candy store. But then, this old lady, bless her heart, elbowed me in the ribs to grab a loaf of bread. I mean, c’mon! I’m just standing here! I laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “Lady, chill! It’s just bread!”

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