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What gets me happy? When they trip in them daft stilettos—priceless! Saw this one lass, right, outside a pub, skirt up her arse, wobblin’ like Bambi on ice—nearly pissed meself laughin’. Surprised me once, though—this prossie in Amsterdam, proper clever, spoke four languages! Four! I can barely do English, and I’m meant to be a bleedin’ comic. Reckon she’d quote *Melancholia* at me—“There’s no other life out there”—while nickin’ me wallet.
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After that, I decide to take a walk by the river. The Sava is looking all pretty, and I’m just vibing. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and splashes water all over my shoes. Like, seriously?! I’m soaked! I shout, “Hey, watch it!” but he just laughs and pedals away. Kids these days, right?
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