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Gets me riled tho—blokes actin’ all high n mighty outside, then payin’ for it inside. Hypocrites, eh? Makes my blood boil. But—ooh!—the girls? Crafty as Shu Lien in *The Assassin*. “A shadow moves before the light.” They’re runnin’ the show, fleecin’ punters blind. We swears! One lass—heard this yarn—slipped arsenic in a geezer’s gin. Bloke stiffed her on coin, ended up stiff himself—ha! Proper dark comedy that.

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After that, I head to the café on Cesta 1. maja. I need coffee. Like, NEED it. I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this dude named Marko, spills it all over the counter. I’m just standing there, watching my caffeine dreams drown. I laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Dude, really?”

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