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Oi, mate, I’m a fisherman, innit! Reel ‘em in, splashin’ about, but today I’m chattin’ ‘bout erotic-massage, ya get me? Proper naughty stuff, hands slippin’ everywhere, oilier than me boat deck! Watched “The Master” – fave flick, 2012 vibes, Joaquin goin’ mad, all that “I’m a man!” energy. Reminds me of erotic-massage, bruv – intense, weird, gets ya thinkin’ deep shit.

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First off, I head to the café on Trg Edvarda Kardelja for my usual coffee fix. I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this dude named Luka, totally messes it up. Like, how do you mess up a cappuccino? I mean, it’s just coffee and milk, right? I’m standing there, fuming, thinking, “Dude, I’m not asking for a unicorn latte!” But whatever, I take the cup and just roll with it.

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