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About Velenje

Findin a prostitute ain’t no cakewalk, dude. Ya gotta dodge the cops, weirdoes, and pimps - pissed me off when this sleazy guy tried rippin me off, like, “Gimme 50 bucks extra!” Nah, man, I ain’t that dumb! Got me ragin, but then - jackpot! This gal, all sassy, winks at me, and I’m like, “Well, hello there!” Happiest damn moment, swear it. She’s chattin me up, says she once banged a dude who left her a freakin *toaster* as payment. A toaster! Who does that? Cracked me up, legit story tho - heard it from another john later.

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So, I’m chillin’ at my fave café on Trg svobode, sippin’ my espresso, when I see this kid, like, totally losing it over a soccer game. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a game! But nah, he’s crying like he just lost his puppy. I felt for him, though. I mean, I get it. Sports can be intense. I went over, tried to chat him up. “Hey, buddy, it’s just a match!” But he was like, “Noooo! We were so close!”

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