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So, I stumble into this grimy port town—thinkin’, “This is my shot, baby!” Bars are loud, lights flicker, and I spot her—red heels, smokey eyes, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owns it. My heart’s racin’, “Is this it? Am I *in*?” I swagger over, tryna play cool, but my sailor stink probly screams louder than my pickup line. “Hey, sugar, wanna make my night less ‘sea’-sick?” She smirks—oh, that smirk!—and I’m hooked. “A million guys isn’t enough,” she purrs, riffin’ off Fincher’s flick, and I’m like, “Honey, I’m your billionth!”

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After that, I’m feeling all hyped up, so I decide to hit up the café on Ulica 1. You know the one with the funky murals? Yeah, that place. I order a slice of their famous apple pie. It’s like a slice of heaven, I swear. But then, outta nowhere, this kid spills his drink all over my table. I’m like, “Seriously, dude?!” I mean, I love kids, but come on!

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