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So, I’m cruisin’ downtown, right? Lookin’ for some action—nothin’ fancy, just chillin’. Saw this chick, heels high as my dreams, leanin’ by a lamppost. “How you doin’?” I say, all smooth-like. She smirks—boom, I’m hooked! But then—get this—she’s quotin’ prices like a freakin’ menu. Fifty bucks for a “tour of the original,” she says. Straight outta the movie, man—“the original’s just a copy!” I’m dyin’ laughin’—she didn’t get it.

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First stop, I’m at the bus station on Hlavná street. You know, the one that’s always packed? Yeah, that one. I’m waiting for the bus, and it’s late. Like, really late. I’m standing there, checking my watch, and thinking, “C’mon, I got places to be!” Finally, the bus rolls up, and it’s packed like sardines. I squeeze in, and this dude next to me smells like he bathed in garlic. Ugh.

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