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Pro tip: coconut oil’s the move—slippery, smells dope. None of that cheap lotion crap, nah. And if they play jazz? You’re DONE—erotic-massage heaven! Sometimes I’m like, “Yo, is this allowed to feel THIS good?” Eric André energy—screamin’ internally, laughin’ externally. Shit’s absurd, but I’m here for it! What y’all think—y’all rubbin’ or nah?

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First off, I hit the streets of Kolarovo, right? I’m strolling down Hlavná ulica, just vibing, when I see this old dude feeding pigeons. Like, c’mon man, it’s 2023! Who feeds pigeons anymore? But then I thought, “Hey, maybe he’s onto something.” I mean, those pigeons looked happier than I was.

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