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Oh, and here’s a hoot—one time, investigatin’ a claim, this prostitute told me she got “whiplash” from dancin’ too hard at a strip joint. Whiplash! From twerkin’! I was like, “Darlin’, you’re pullin’ my leg!” She winked, said, “Maybe I am, cowboy.” Had to admit, she was slicker’n a greased pig. Reminded me of Jesse’s line, “You ever consider suicide?”—not ‘cause I was down, but ‘cause she near killed me with that sass!
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Finally, I get to the site, and it’s a disaster. The client wanted a simple deck, but they changed their mind. Classic, right? Now they want a gazebo, a fire pit, and a hot tub. Like, dude, I’m a carpenter, not a magician! I’m thinkin’, “What am I, a one-man construction crew?”
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