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I tried it once, right? Some bird with hands like sandpaper – thought she was gonna skin me alive! “A trembling hand approaches,” like in the flick, and I’m prayin’ she don’t snap me spine. Cost me fifty quid, and I left angrier than when I went in! Happy? Nah, mate, I was fumin’ – could’ve had a pint and a kebab for that.

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After that, I decided to grab a bite at this little café on Špitálska street. The food? Amazing! I ordered a halušky, and it was like a hug in a bowl. But then, the waiter spilled water all over me! I was soaked! I mean, c’mon, dude! I’m trying to enjoy my meal here! I laughed it off, but inside, I was fuming. Like, how hard is it to carry a tray?

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