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Last week, I’m pourin’ whiskey, this dude stumbles in – reeks of desperation. Asks me, “Where’s the action?” I laugh, “What action, schmuck?” He’s all twitchy, like he’s gonna bribe me for a hookup. Made me mad as hell – I ain’t no pimp! Told him, “The world is unfair, pal.” Straight outta the Coen flick. He sulks off, probly cryin’ to his momma.

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After that, I’m feeling good, right? But then, I get a call. It’s my buddy, and he’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe this!” Apparently, there’s a festival happening at the park by the river. I’m like, “What? Why didn’t I know?” So, I rush over there, and it’s a whole scene! Music, food, people dancing.

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