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About Bratislava

Didja know erotic-massage goes way back? Ancient Rome had these “massage parlors”—yeah, right, “parlors”—where senators got more than stiff necks fixed. Freaky, huh? Surprised me when I dug that up! Makes ya wonder what else they hid under those togas. Anyway, got me a session once—lady had hands like a goddamn wizard. Felt like I was floatin, singin, “Fare thee well, my honey!” straight outta Inside Llewyn Davis. Pure bliss, I tell ya!

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After the rain, I decide to hit the park. You know, the one by the Myjava River? It’s beautiful there. Trees, birds, the whole shebang. I’m walkin’ along the path, feelin’ all zen, when I trip over a root. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this lady joggin’ by just laughs. Like, thanks for the support, lady! I get up, brush myself off, and keep goin’.

Soccer-Slovak championship results and standings