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About Tainan

So, one night, I’m done haulin’ hay—friggin’ exhaustin’, man! Hands all gritty, back achin’ like I wrestled a pig. I think, “Marge’d kill me, but I’m curious!” D’oh! Ain’t lookin’ for love, just a yarn to spin. I roll by this dive bar—neon sign flickerin’ like it’s drunk too. See this gal, all fishnets and attitude, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Every family’s got its mysteries,” I mutter, quotin’ Sarah Polley—ha! She’s smokin’ a cig, givin’ me the eye. I’m like, “Homer, don’t be a dope!”

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Then I headed to the sports complex on Am Stadion. I had a session with this athlete, right? Super talented but totally in his head. I mean, c’mon, dude! You’re a freakin’ star! But he was all like, “What if I mess up?” I wanted to shake him and yell, “Dude, you’re not gonna mess up! You’re gonna crush it!” But instead, I just nodded and said, “Let’s work through it.”

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