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So, findin’ a prostitute—tricky biz, that. Ain’t talkin’ street corners, no sir! Clinical trials, they be needin’ folks—real folks, savvy?—sometimes sex workers, for studies on health, STDs, or social whatnot. Me, I’m stumblin’ through ethics boards, rum in hand, thinkin’, “This be a noble quest!” But arrgh, the red tape! Made me madder’n a kraken with a toothache. Papers piled high, docs judgin’ me like I’m plannin’ a mutiny. “Why’s Cap’n Jack want *her*?” they sneer. ‘Cause science, ye bilge rats!
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Finally, I get to the lab, and Jess is pacing like a caged animal. Turns out, our experiment went haywire. Like, we mixed the wrong chemicals or something. I was like, “Are you kidding me?!” I mean, we were supposed to be studying enzyme reactions, not creating a science fiction horror show.
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