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Hey, folks, listen up—here’s the deal. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ bout life, y’know, like an actuary crunchin’ numbers. Probabilities, risks, all that jazz. Then—bam—it hits me. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t so different! You’re dodgin’ odds, hopin’ ya don’t get burned. Like in *No Country for Old Men*, right? “You can’t stop what’s comin’,” ol’ Tommy Lee says. That’s the vibe, man.

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a prison warden ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. So, I wake up in Sanzhi, right? The sun’s blazin’ down on me like it’s tryin’ to roast me alive. I’m thinkin’, “Great, another scorcher.” I grab my coffee from that little joint on Zhongzheng Rd. Best brew in town, no cap.

Figure 1. Map of nonmetropolitan area of JinShan, Wanli, Shimen and...