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Found this one bird—legs for days, standin by a lampost. Heart’s racin—bloody hell, she’s fit! “Bonjour,” I croak out, voice box glitchin. She smirks, probs thinkin I’m a nutter. “Time’s short,” I say, quotin Amélie, “gotta seize the day!” She laughs—surprised me, that. Thought she’d bolt. Cosmic wisdom hittin her, maybe? Negotiated—50 euros, quick job. Felt like a king, then guilty—wtf, brain, chill!

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So, I finally get to this old bridge near the Shiding Waterfall. It’s a beauty, but man, it’s seen better days. I’m inspecting it, and outta nowhere, this group of tourists shows up. They’re snapping pics like it’s the last sunset on Earth. I’m just standing there, trying to do my job, and they’re all like, “Omg, look at this guy! What’s he doing?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m saving your future selfies from rust!” But they just laugh. Ugh, people.

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