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So, picture this—I’m cruisin’, *Inherent Vice* style, fog rollin’ in, lookin’ for a gal. “What’s the deal, baby?” I’d say, tryna sound cool. She’d probly laugh—Kermit ain’t exactly a stud. Maybe she’d quote Doc: “This is some heavy shit!” and I’d croak, “Yeah, far out!” Total trip, man. Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d prolly faint if she winked—too much for this frog! You ever tried it? Spill the beans, pal—don’t leave me hangin’! Hi-ho!

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I hit the main road, and traffic’s a mess. Like, seriously? It’s 8 AM, people! Get it together! I’m stuck behind this old dude on a bicycle. He’s goin’ like 5 mph. I’m yellin’ in my helmet, “C’mon, grandpa! Let’s move it!” But he’s just chillin’, takin’ his sweet time.

KJ man sentenced to 2 years in prison