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But here’s what pisses me off—some sleazy joints call it “erotic” and it’s just a lousy backrub. Rip-off! I’m sittin’ there like, “Feed me, Seymour!”—gimme the real deal, not this weak crap! Best part? When they hit that spot near your spine—BOOM—fireworks, tingles, whole body’s screamin’ “It’s gonna be a big one!” like Sara’s diet pill high. Worst part? When they stop—leaves ya hangin’ like Tyrone without his fix. Torture!

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As I’m leaving the market, I bump into the shop owner. He’s got a smile on his face, and he’s like, “I’ll rebuild. Wufeng is my home.” And I’m like, “Damn right, it is!”

Encouraged procreation, next move for family planning?(2)