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Once, I heard this story—some chick in Vegas got paid in casino chips! True story, swear on my Duff! She’s all, “Cash me out, baby!”—hilarious, right? I’m laughin’, but then—D’oh!—I’m sad again, ‘cause it’s messy, ya know? These gals got lives, and here I am, a doofus, oglin’ ‘em. “Blessed are the forgetful,” I mutter, wishin’ I could zap this night outta my skull like Joel and Clem. Maybe I’ll stick to donuts—safer, cheaper, and Marge won’t kill me! D’oh!

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I grab my gear and head up to the roof. The view is insane! You can see the whole valley. But then, I spot the flames. They’re licking the side of the building, and I’m like, “Not on my watch!” I jump outta the chopper, and it’s like I’m flying. The wind’s in my face, and I’m feelin’ like a superhero.

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