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Exaggeratin’ now—I’d hire one, she’d be a supermodel, drivin’ me nuts! “Beauty’s in the chaos,” Jep’d say. I’d just drool, donut in hand, starin’. D’oh! Real talk—she’d prolly rob me blind, leavin’ me in my undies outside Moe’s. “You’re a loser, Homer!”—yep, that’s the vibe.

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Then, I spot this street performer. He’s playing the erhu, and it’s beautiful. I stop, totally mesmerized. The music hits me right in the feels. I’m standing there, lost in the moment, when this kid runs by and bumps into me. My bubble tea goes flying! I’m like, “Nooooo!” It splatters everywhere. I’m furious, but then I see the kid’s face. He’s just a little dude, probably didn’t mean it. I can’t stay mad. I just laugh it off.

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