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I spot her, thou see—red lips like a gash’d rose, legs long as a tax form. “What price thy company, wench?” I blurt, all Shakespearean, thinkin’ I’m clever. She laughs—bloody hell, mate, she laughs! “Twenty quid, ya posh twat,” she says, and I’m proper gobsmacked. Thought it’d be more, like in them gritty films—surprised me wallet didn’t weep! “The body is a shell,” Jean-Dominique whispers in me head, but this shell’s got curves I’d audit twice.

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So, I dashed over to the nearest 7-Eleven on Zhonghua Road. I swear, that place is like my second home. Grabbed a cup of that sweet, sweet coffee. But guess what? They were outta my favorite flavor! Ugh! I was ready to throw a fit. Like, how do you run out of coffee in a 7-Eleven? It’s like running outta air!

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