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I hit up this corner—boom, there she is! Red heels, smokin’ a cig, lookin’ like she dgaf. I’m thinkin’, “Is this love authentic?”—another *Certified Copy* line, ha! Nah, fam, it’s just business, but my brain’s spinnin’. I’m yellin’ inside, “Eric, chill, this ain’t a rom-com!” She’s quotin’ prices like it’s a damn menu—50 for this, 100 for that. I’m like, “Girl, I ain’t tryna buy your soul!” Laughin’ my ass off, but lowkey surprised how chill she is. Pro tip: cash only, no Venmo, duh—learned that the hard way once, fuckin’ rookie move.

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Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that www.facebook.comg: Sanzhi.

I’m sittin’ there, eatin’ my food, and I can’t help but laugh. I just survived a crazy day. I’m a warden, but I’m also just a dude tryin’ to get by. Sanzhi’s wild, man. It’s got its ups and downs, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

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